I remember trying to teach my son to sleep. What suffering this caused as desires clashed. Unhappy baby, unhappy mother and pretty soon the whole family is topsy turvy in a swirl of ill temper and negativity.
It's hard to rise above it when you're tired. Not just tired but tired upon tired and ground down until your very spirit feels like dust.
Getting in the moment feels like a task beyond reach, but of course this is exactly when you need to most. And so I tried to use this process as an exercise in presence.
One night as my son raged against sleep and against me, I stripped away the hurt (his and mine), I let go of the tiredness, the backache, the self doubt running rings in my mind and I came to be. Just in a moment. Not a great moment for sure as my baby wailed, but just a moment that would eventually, hopefully pass.
And it did. And he was still.
Until I let go of the present and began calculating my own retreat to bed and he stirred and wailed again.
It's not easy holding on to the present. It's not easy maintaining calm composure through a veil of tiredness and ill humour. In fact it's very damn hard.
But I tried then as I keep trying now - to see lifes challenges as invitations into the moment.
To remember that there is always an opportunity for presence.
To remember that there is always an opportunity for presence.
How do you stay in the moment?
