Sunday, January 12, 2014

Lace Up

Running makes me more decisive.

It's weird, right?

I mean I started running to get a bit fit.  Since having my kids I have really done no exercise.  Fortunately for me they keep me pretty active, so it's not like no exercise meant no action.  But still.  

I was missing the routine of formal exercise.

And chasing after the kids - we'll once you reach a certain age, it's not really enough is it?

Also, I've had this desire to run a half marathon for a while.  I don't know where this inclination came from, since I've never before been much of a runner.  But I don't know, I reckon it would be fun.  And somewhat of an achievement.  So.

I'm still a ways away from that.  In fact I'm not even close.  And I don't really know how to get there.  But people do it, right?  People get there?  So I figure I can work it out.  I mean it's running, it's not rocket surgery.

I'm starting small, running about 3.5k's twice a week.  I know.  It's nothing.  Don't laugh.  But for someone who has not exercised in six years, like, at all - well I don't want to break a hip, so small steps.

And to give myself something to aim for I'm going to do a fun run in May.  8k's.  Which means I essentially have to add a kilometer a month.  Oh dear.  Can I do that?

I'm sure I can.  Can't I?  Anyway. Tangent.

I have found a quite intriguing byproduct of running to get fit.  (Aside from the fact that it improves my mood - enormously).  It actually makes me more decisive.

Seems like there is really something to Mr Nikes motto Just Do It because when I get back from a run I don't waste time like I can do.  If something needs doing I, yep - just do it.  And things that have been waiting on my to do list for weeks suddenly get cleared.

It's like all the excuses and hesitations just fly out of my head while I'm on the jog.

And it's not just getting on with things.  It is actually deciding on things.  

I have found in the last few years - for I'm sure I wasn't like this always, or was I? - that I have become quite indecisive.  Constantly asking for the opinions, if not approval of others.  

And if you think that's annoying for those around me it's frustrating and at times quite debilitating for me.

Imagine circling around an issue trying to see it from all sides, weighing pros and cons, trying to eliminate all errors for even the simplest choices.  Well okay, not the truly simplest, I can still manage to work out what to eat and what to wear each day.  But still this incessant over-thinking isn't confined to just big life changing events.  And it's exhausting.

I'm going to say that it is one of the (many) things that have changed in me since becoming not just a parent, but a family.  Which for me has meant two fundamental challenges to my independence.  

The obvious one is that I am no longer just responsible for myself.  My decisions now impact me, my partner and our children.  So is it any wonder I feel the need to analyse my choices, to make sure they are for the benefit of not only myself but my family.  

The less obvious but equally pervasive is that I am no longer making my own money.  I know that this really shouldn't be an issue, after not working for 5 years plus, it's just how our household runs.  Still for someone who earned  wage since I was legally able (14 years and 9 months) not doing so has taken some getting used to.

It's these subtle and yet major changes to my autonomy that I think have infiltrated my ability to be decisive, to feel confident to just make a choice.

I do not understand why running would impact on this but it does.  And it feels good.  Because indecision is a bit of a spiral.  Feeling unsure about what to do is really undermining and self perpetuating.

Running on the other hand is, it seems just totally freaking awesome.  So the next time I'm procrastinating, over-analysing or hesitating I'm getting out of my head, pulling on the running shoes and heading for the door.  Lace up.

Have you discovered any hidden benefits of exercise?

Listen to The Black Eyed Peas Let's Get It Started

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